Fandom - Original
Rating - T
Summary - "The first step you experience is denial"
Notes - This is part of some exercises I did a while. I should get back to practicing them actually. XD
When someone dies, the first stage you experience is denial.
You start to yell out and scream at the people closest to you and then you force yourself to huddle into a corner, still murmuring denials, but your voice isn’t quite as strong as before. But those eyes are looking at you in pity and you hate them for that because you are the last person who needs pity.
The second stage is repression.
You distance yourself from everyone. You pick at your food at the dinner table. Your family stares at you with concerned expressions and you hate them because they are wasting their concern on you instead of people who matter. You dismiss yourself from the table (and try to avoid looking at your unfinished plate) and you go to your bed. And you keep on crying because your tears seem to be the only thing that hasn’t changed in this distorted world you’re living in.
The third stage is blame.
You saw the symptoms clearer than anyone else had. You saw the disease taking your classmates one by one mercilessly. You took the precautions needed and avoided your friends, but you never told anyone. You didn’t want to cause a panic. So you just told them the usual excuses (the ones that no one believed, but at the same time, never questioned them) and you tried to drown yourself in your work. Then it hit your friends before you blink and they were writhing in pain and crying. You saw the death take them, how the eyes rolled up. And then you question yourself and tried to come in terms of your own selfishness. You could have prevented this, you tell yourself and delve deeper into the hole of hatred.
The fourth stage is acceptance
You needed to understand that it would have happened no matter what you did. You needed that realization, otherwise you weren’t living. So you tried to deal with the facts handed out to you. So you tried to breathe in slowly as you walked back into your school. Each step resounded in your ears and the tears are threatening to spill once more. The specialists said the danger was over and students could return. Slowly, you see them. They looked tired and angry. They also have tear marks on their faces.
So you walk up to the first person you see and say hello.
The fifth stage is recovery and you believe that in time, you might just get through this.