The Paperback Author (paperbackauthor) wrote,
The Paperback Author
paperbackauthor

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[kingdom hearts] [oneshot] heartful

Title - Heartful
Fandom - Kingdom Hearts II
Pairing - Cloud/Leon
Rating - PG
Notes - based vaguely on this song. lots of metaphors and vagueness
Summary - "God that was strange to see you again..."



We met when Hollow Bastion was still whole and the stars remained fixed in the night sky. You would remember the night sky, you watched it endlessly when the earth and sky blackened beyond recognition. Stars fell every night. You counted and waited. You were particularly well versed with waiting. I was well versed in leaving. It's an odd balance, a dance between friends, a courtesy of making and breaking along the thin line we traipsed.

We broke apart when the dam burst. Ansem had muddied the water and Xehanort drowned the worlds in dirt. Gods became commonplace and lost men drifted like aimless clouds in the worlds. You saw and left. I saw and left. We should have left together. But there were men you despised and I became one of them.

We parted, two men, on terms of pride. Mine was too precious to give and yours too easily hurt. I went in search of gods and you went in search of home. We strewed meaningless things on our path because they became too heavy. Our friendship was one meaningless thing that fell from my hand.

God, it was strange to see you again. You didn't forget, couldn't forget and I didn't remember, couldn't remember. Maybe we were lying, always lying. Step, side-step, dance, dance, step, a melody on the gramophone stuck over the one line, "I'm not sorry there's nothing to save..". I think I liked your smile. It's gone now, one of those meaningless thing you dropped. I lost mine too. We're alike, us liars.

There was pain. I couldn't expect none. The way we left, the way we circled each other, but never connected, not even briefly. We were something, but now with so much broken glass under us, we can be only nothing. There were gods to kill and you despised me. You will always despise me. Perhaps I parted to make you despise me. Perhaps it was a grand conspiracy.

I regret nothing, but you regret always. I drowned and you watched, always sad, always regretful, a pain that struck you deep in your heart. When there's nothing left to burn, you set yourself on fire. I watch you now, still watching as you spin yourself around me, your feet aching for me.

I'm going now to hunt gods on a new plane of existence. You will do what you did best: waiting. I said I loved you. You noted the past tense and turned away. I would say you cried, but it's another meaningless thing we disposed of along the way.

I wish I had gone with you. I wish you dragged me home, broken, bloody, the man you despised. I'm a little empty, too empty, completely empty and I have nothing left to share with you. Do you mind? I can give nothing.

You don't mind? Then take as much as you can. I'm here, now in passing. A star on my brow...

...it fell.

Tags: cloud/leon, fanfiction, kingdom hearts, oneshot, shounen-ai
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